Can be fun.... untilsomeone has to ask you that question. You know the one that I mean. It is the one that can make your skin crawl for a few reasons. The question that every married woman, and some single woman get asked "When are you going to have a baby?". That question makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Most times there is no right answer for the person who has asked, and everyone will give you their opinion in return.
Let me go back for a moment: I have said since I think I was a teenager, that I did not want children. Every female member of my family have said I will change my mind. I can take that in stride. I mean I know that the expectation is to grow up, get married, start a family (hopefully in that order). But now a days, it seems there are plenty of people who are having children when they are single, or none at all. Since we were engaged, more and more people have asked my husband and I when we were planning on having kids. "Planning? We are not planning to have kids". ((this is when the shock look comes over the inquisitors faces)). I can not tell you how many people think they have the right to ask why, or wonder if I am not 'able' to have kids. It is so hard not to scream that it is none of their business. Lately we have started to answer with very shallow reasons why we are waiting- wanting to travel, a new car, new computer, Kim likes to shop too much, we are broke. No answer is ever good enough. Who knows if we will change or minds in the future! But, unless you tell someone that you are 'trying' then something must be wrong with you. Then if you haven't had a baby fast enough, everyone will tell you HOW to get pregnant or what doctor to see.. (but I am not going into that in the blog post!)
When I was asked for maybe the 8th time this past weekend at the shower, I decided it was time to go. It was nearing cake time and the men of my family have arrived to socialize and it was just all too much. I love my family and I am thankful my Mom chimed in a few times that she has a grandchild already- meaning my Pug Roxy. So with that, I skipped the cake and met my husband at home, to snuggle on the couch with our girl, Roxy.
4 comments:
I have a child and wasn't really "planning" to get pregnant with him but it happened. Anyways now, the question I get all.the.time that drives me nuts is "When are you having another one?"
To be completely honest, I really do not think I want another one even though I always get a million and one reasons from everyone it seems why not having another child is so wrong.
I don't look down at people who don't want kids. It really is such a hard job and your life while it changes in many good ways.........also can be very stressful or worse when children are involved.
Ick, I hate that people think questions like that are OK to ask someone. It's just plain rude and everyone is entitled to their own choices. If you don't want kids there is nothing wrong with that!!
I've been married 5 1/2 years now and it seems like anytime there is a family event, I get asked that. It's sooooo annoying. I'm so not ready for kids (and who know, maybe I never will be), but since my sister-in-law is the same age as me and has 2 and is pregnant with her 3rd, everyone wonders why we don't have any.
I used to tell people I didn't want kids, but got sick of the looks of disbelief and the "pep talks" about how great kids are. Lately I have just been telling people I'm focusing on my career (even if I am unemployed at the moment) and that I want to be a homeowner first.
I wish people could mellow out and be okay with me doing things when I'm ready. I don't need more stress in my life. Hahah.
All of you are right!!!
It seems hard to get away from those questions, because you can never give someone the 'right' answer!
Post a Comment